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Joke of the Day

"How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader..? Tell him that Asylum Seekers are the natural predators of Paedophiles."

"I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long."

"Obamacare? Yeah, more like ""Turn your head and Kafka."" Am I right?"

"When someone offers me constructive criticism, it's clear they've mistaken me for someone else."

"Saw a police officer dressed as a pilot today & thought it was weird. Then I realized he must be one of those ""plane clothes cops."""

"They've just added no stockpiling paperclips' to the employee handbook like they knew what I was planning."

"What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner? ""I ain't no chive, Turkey."""

"You know what I love about having kids? Not having them."

"I can't stand being in a wheelchair. Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny."

"How can you tell if a pedophile is Jewish? ""Hey little kid! Want to buy some candy?"""