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Joke of the Day

"For Halloween, I'm going out as ""gay wedding"" ... ... it seems that billions of people are scared of it!"

"Two yrs ago I weighed 296lbs. Today I weigh 293lbs. Hard work makes dreams come true, folks."

"Why does Superman have to wait until tomorrow to fight gang violence in LA? He can't face the Crips tonight."

"Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM."

"Are you Russian? Cause I'll be Putin my dick in your mouth tonight. (Don't use as a pick up line doesn't work)"

"What do you call a spinning, bisexual dinosaur that loves Juno & Superbad? Biceratops"

"Technology Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"I think we all need something positive after the recent election Which is why I'm sharing my HIV status with all of you."

"I predict futuristic fiction will become very popular. Nope, just an example of futuristic fiction. It wasn't that great because that's what futuristic fiction is like."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass."