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Joke of the Day
"Little monster: Mom Mom what's for tea? Mother monster: Shut up and get back in the microwave."
Next Joke
"I couldn't be trusted with a time machine. I'd get killed going back and testing whether or not Velociraptors really could open doors."
"You are my fan because u blow me away."
"What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated? Try or try not, there is no do."
"I just saw a gang fight. One gang claimed that grease is the word, and the other said that bird is the word. I think eight guys were killed."
"""Pikachu, use astonish!"" *Leans into opponent's ear* ""Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."""
"I'm not fucking stupid. I mean, I was, but we broke up."
"*Tim Burton slams hands on table* WTF DO U MEAN THERE ARE OTHER ACTORS BESIDES JOHNNY DEPP & MY WIFE *turns to Depp* HOW LONG HAVE U KNOWN"
"A cannibal went for a walk... ...and he passed his brother"
"How many spiders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two."