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Joke of the Day

"Pro Tip Jehovah's Witnesses will do anything to talk to you, including your dishes and laundry Try it"

"How accurate is the bible? Very!! Especially when thrown from a short distance...hits the target almost always."

"It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk."

"Daughter saw old clothes I've saved for sentimental value & said 'I bet you cried when the last dinosaur died too'. She's out of the will."

"I Enjoyed Your Joke, soue13, I've Also Come Up With One. At Age 25.. Did you guys hear about the dried grape at the party last night? He was really RAISIN the roof!"

"Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too."

"Dear Santa, Please send gift cards. Your taste has gotten significantly worse in recent years."

"Only Two Things Can Change A Women's Mood 1.I Love You. 2.50% Discount"

"I saw an image of the Virgin Mary on a pumpkin! It squashed all of my doubts... And, reinforced my faith in Gourd."

"What did the Hawaiian man say when he say the buffet? Aloha Snackbar"