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Joke of the Day

"Things have changed so much like 4000 years ago if you killed a lion and could fix people's teeth you would have been the king of everything"

"I have invented a machine *that reads the subtext in different voice*"

"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He's always nailed to the boards...."

"Why does Japan love Obama? He is first Barack president."

"I asked Mick Jagger to pick me up some swampy plants. But a Rolling Stone gathers no moss."

"Did you hear about the 80 pound midget with 40 pound balls? They say he was half nuts."

"I caught two teens smoking pot behind my office. Ten minutes later, my boss caught two teens and myself smoking pot behind my office."

"Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat."

"TIFU by letting my dog have sex with me (NSFW) It was ruff"

"Have you heard of the new movie ""constipation""? It hasn't came out yet"