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Joke of the Day

"Everyone's like ""I love Obama"" or ""I love Romney"" and I'm just over here like ""I love whiskey and beer"""

"*queen points out window* ""what's that flashing out the window?"" ""Lightning, My Queen"" *car busts thru window* DID I HEAR LIGHTNING McQUEEN"

"Did you hear about the brain implant that can fix stupid? It's called a bullet."

"So I bought a pedometer the other day... I think it's broken. The display keeps reading ""TOO OLD""."

"I have you know that my penis was once in the Guinness book of world records... but then the librarian yelled and told me to leave the library."

"Here's a nerdy joke: If you use 8 bits from a Macbook, are you taking a bite from an Apple? Crunch."

"Sometimes I'll water my plants with boiling water because why should they have it so good?"

"Justin Bieber is still truly Canadian at heart... His most popular song is called ""Sorry""."

"At an outdoorsy store a hunter asks an employee why anyone would want to buy camo longjohns The employee promptly replies, ""They'll never see you coming!"""

"What do Led Zeppelin and New Orleans have in common ""When the Levi breaks, we have no place to stay"""