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Joke of the Day

"A beautiful girl said hello to me. I replied 'thank you' before I could think."

"I always yell ""I'm not masturbating!"" when someone knocks on my office door so they know I'm not masturbating."

"I've got a joke with no punchline.. I'm not joking!"

"I fucking hate gravity It keeps pulling me down"

"I don't have a gf, but I do know a woman who in the car often asks where this is going so I show her the GPS & she gets mad for some reason."

"A 2-hour movie called ""Can You Watch My Kid For Like 15 Minutes?"""

"Ever misspell a word so badly that you spell a different word correctly? It's rather embroidering."

"I'm beginning to suspect I might have bad posture call it a hunch"

"What's a difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, ""Chew, chew, chew!"""

"who discovered Snickers??? I'm on the Paleo diet, except I'm the caveman who discovered Snickers."