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Joke of the Day

"7 days without a pun... Makes one weak."

"You have so much potential But no kinetic energy, therefore you will never go anywhere in life."

"Can't believe it's been four years since we all pretended Michael Jackson never touched a child."

"If you elected me president, I would implement a masturbation tax... Talk about saving the economy single-handedly."

"This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness! That's scary! It means 75% are running around untreated!"

"9 out of 10 dentists recommend crest toothpaste... ...the 10th is in still in hiding for paying $50,000 for the right to murder a lion in Africa."

"I really admire people who can joke about themselves so I made up this joke....It starts ""I have Alzheimer's ..."

"This man is frank and earnest with women... In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. - Henny Youngman (for a Monday morning pick-me-up.)"

"Why is there a wolf on Wall Street. Animals are bad with money. My cat just lost $80 at high-stakes uno"

"What's the difference between a princess and a witch? 2 years of marriage."