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Joke of the Day

"If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty."

"Death. Resurrection. Saviour. I believe in Robocop."

"Can you cure hereditary diarrhea? Or does it just run through your jeans?"

"On the bus I was sitting on the bus and this super hot Thai girl gets on and sits next to me I think to myself ""Please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner"" She did."

"once i saw a horse standing next to a car and when someone remote unlocked the car, the horse got spooked and kicked in the passenger door."

"What happens to a frogs car when it is parked illegally? It gets toad away"

"Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million."

"Yeah yeah ""Friends with Benefits"" are cool but have you tried ""Friends with Batteries""? Less drama!"

"Two antennae had a wedding... It was alright, but the reception was amazing."

"Two antennas met on a roof... they fell in love, and decided to get married. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was excellent."