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Joke of the Day

"Mom and Dad said I was bad for putting a cell phone in my vagina but I don't know why. I always come when I'm called."

"Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up."

"A Physics student is standing on the roof of a building preparing to leap to his death.... His professor calls out to him, ""Stop! You have so much potential!"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amour ! Amour who? Amour you eat the more you want !"

"Had to fire my personal Trainer. He dint do squat."

"Pedophiles aren't all bad... The always drive the speed limit in school zones."

"You'd be shocked at how easy it is to walk into a nursing home and draw mustaches on the dementia patents"

"How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor? Straight, No Chaser."

"What's common between Canadians and Belgians? They're mostly really nice people, but they have the French living there too."

"I thought about opening up a cemetery... but it seems like it would be a large undertaking."