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Joke of the Day

"What's the fastest curry in the world? Usain Balti.."

"Yea? Well who died & made you Batman? Oh crap..that's right. Bruce, I'm so sorry. Come on, dude, don't cry. Seriously, where you going?"

"What do you call a fake thong (flipflop)? A scandal!"

"It's hard to have a Polaroid camera and not seem ""kidnappy""."

"Kelloggs is introducing a new Game of Thrones inspired breakfast cereal. Oberyn Crunch."

"Two television sets got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception wasbeautiful."

"Animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before the last earthquake,our dog took the car keys and drove off"

"I don't always try to use big words but when I do, I accidentally tell a mother her toddler was a necrophiliac today instead of narcoleptic."

"Idea! Tiny headphones for pigeons who are self-conscious about their head bopping & want to make it look like they're listening to music."

"My doctor told me I had to quit masturbating Turns out it was because he was trying to examine me"