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Joke of the Day

"What does a duck smoke? Quack"

"Just read a book on Helium. Couldn't put it down."

"What if you're a Gift Horse Dentist?"

"Ever hear about the baby born with no eye lids? they used the skin from his circumcision to make some so now he is cock eyed"

"dude *scoffs like 7 times in a row* of course i'm not a virgin... i have lots of *starts readin hand, ink is hella smudged* secular intercom"

"It's weird how opposites attract, like red wine & a new shirt"

"Guys, women can spot another woman at 10 paces and tell you if she's wearing 5"" or 6"" heels. She knows exactly what, 6""+ looks like."

"In what sport to balls go flying around at speeds of up to 150 miles per hour? Jogging"

"How did the hipster burn their lips? They ate the pizza before it was cool"

"Why are feet so funny? Because they're ""heel areas"" ... I'll show myself out"