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Joke of the Day
"I can't stand being in a wheelchair. ..."
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"Get out of any speeding ticket by assuring the officer that you're already miserable and adequately beaten down by life."
"How come the only people who can open childproof lids are children? My nephew charges me two vicodin just to open the bottle."
"Me....."" Hurry up honey or we'll be late."" Wife.. ""Oh, be quiet, Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute?"""
"Worst joke I know. How do you make a 5 year old cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on their favorite teddybear."
"What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast? Sugar Puff Daddy"
"If you use a meat tenderizer to repeatedly hit a backless bar chair does it become a stool softener? Probably."
"If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache."
"I'm a racist person and my mouth says racist things but my penis is a humanitarian. - Dave Chapelle."
"I've eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another"