18378

Joke of the Day

"Why do Taiwanese students always do so well on their standardized tests? They've got a Taipei personality"

"Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine."

"If you cut your goat in half you'll have two goats, that's just simple math."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his food before it was cool"

"G: Grandma (completely safe watch with grandma) PG: Partial Grandma (slightly awkward) PG13: 13 or more cusses (very awkward) R: NO grandmas"

"Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed."

"knock knock joke knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock who's there? fibonacci"

"I'm really good at making women laugh out loud When they see me naked for the first time..."

"A girl melon... ...is in love with a boy melon. When her father finds out they want to get married he tells her ""I'm sorry honey, but you cantaloupe"""

"No matter how far you push the envelope... It's still stationery. Fixed it."