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Joke of the Day
"Of course you can be anything you wanna be. That's how delusions work."
Next Joke
"An Eskimo walks into a bakery and orders an apple pie, a cherry pie and a blueberry pie. The baker says, ""sorry, we don't serve Eskimo pies here."""
"A woman was robbed... ...but upon coming home she discovered that nothing was stolen apart from her lightbulbs. She was delighted"
"I like my slaves like I like my coffee Strong and from Cuba"
"Honey, I'm pregnant.. Hi Pregnant, I'm dad."
"Girlfriend: Stop lying around on the couch all day. Me: But you said we needed to start conserving energy."
"What do Hispanic weeaboos say on Christmas? Feliz NYAHHHH-vidad"
"What did the robber with an errection say? This is a stick-up."
"Imagine me sitting alone, pouting in a wedding dress with a defeated slump and unwrapping and eating a Snickers bar. That's my fetish."
"My favorite pick-up line: Hey girl, my name is Tony. You know what that is backwards? Y not."