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Joke of the Day

"Facebook: Adele is such an inspiration. Instagram: Adele looking beautiful in her gown. Twitter: Adele sounds like a chimney sweeper."

"I held the door ... open for a gorgeous blonde at the bar last night. My wife said, ""You've never held the door open for me."" I said, ""What about that time you threatened to leave?"""

"Pokemon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere"

"Saw a black guy with seven fingers today! Turns out he was eating a kitkat....."

"What do you call a slice of bread from another country? An immigraint."

"What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans? If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture."

"A man walks into a bar... Ow"

"A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar... A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar and says, ""hey, big boy. You single?"" He says, ""yeah! How'd you know?"" ""You're fucking ugly, for starters."""

"Can I fax something to you? 'Could you fax over a copy?' 'No, I can't fax because of where I live' 'Where do you live?' 'The 21st century'"

"What is the common enemy of frostbite victims and dairy products? Lack-toes Intolerance."