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Joke of the Day

"I'm going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily."

"A race between two lesbians and two gays... from NY to FL who wins? NSFW? A - The Lesbians... they are doing 69 the whole way while the two gay guys are still getting their shit pack."

"The Nintendo 64 turned 18 today Now you can legally blow the cartridges."

"I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a ""Pregnant Only"" parking spot in front of the Liquor store."

"I told my boyfriend that a penis is like a nipple They are shaped sort of like a nipple, they sometimes squirt white stuff, and it's an erogenous zone. He said ""yea, and mine feeds babies."""

"Why do Irish stew recipes only call for 239 beans? Because one more, and it would be too-farty."

"classical music sounds really fancy and proper for something composed by guys who threw a bucket of their turds out the window every morning"

"Auditions are being held for you to be yourself. Apply within."

"A Jewish kid asks his father for twenty dollars. His father replied, ""ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I'd be happy to give you a dollar, here's one cent."""

"I think my cell mate is gay... He closes his eyes when I kiss him goodnight."