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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish & he'll probably stick his dick in it. Teach a man to fish & he'll just keep fucking the fish you gave him. Men are weird."

"What kind of dog is the smartest? A great brain!"

"How do you tell if someone has an std? Oh shit wrong sub-reddit."

"Careful...I've already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn't end well for you."

"I painted my PC black to make it run faster Now it doesn't work"

"I like my cigarettes like my Instagram. \#nofilter Edit: learned formatting"

"What's the difference between a microwave and butt fucking? A microwave doesn't brown your meat."

"What's the most terrifying gift your SO/Family can buy for you? Reddit gold."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two...but I don't know how you're going to get them in there..."

"What should you do if your car's engine is running slow? Get it to do some CARdio"