182993

Joke of the Day

"Meteorologist: According to our facts, we'll have a longer winter- People: LET THE GROUNDHOG DECIDE Meterologist: But science People: NO"

"Unbelievable! Just checked the roster and I've got to work Christmas Eve from midnight. If it wasn't for all the free wine and altar boys I'd seriously jack-in this 'priest' malarkey."

"let me be very clear: i would rather attend a Pig's wedding than attempt to sift through the dumpster you people have made out of my dm box,"

"How many online courses are offered by the senior learning center? None. They're old school."

"What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination? A log n truck."

"North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media. When everyone knows that America is the best country in the world."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of a boat? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"I carry a magic 8 ball because no one should have to make tough decisions alone."

"Bank manager: I'm sorry sir you can't open an account with this sort of money. They're wooden pieces! Lumberjack: But I only want to open a shavings account."

"why do queens play poker in the bathroom? so they'll always get a royal flush"