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Joke of the Day

"Unbelievable! Just checked the roster and I've got to work Christmas Eve from midnight. If it wasn't for all the free wine and altar boys I'd seriously jack-in this 'priest' malarkey."

"Just once...one time; can't we buy a tree that doesn't try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am."

"TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest? TSA: ...."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.70 a packet and deer nuts are under a buck"

"What's the easiest way to piss off a bunch of redditors? [DELETED]"

"I don't want to criticize but whoever named them brownies wasn't trying very hard."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw!"

"I really want to see that movie about Tom Cruise But I don't think it's ever gonna come out"

"I'm probably moving back to my home country if Trump gets elected. Not by choice either."

"The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP"