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Joke of the Day

"When can't a pencil write out a check? When it's broke."

"You know the difference between 2 dicks and a joke is? You can't take a joke."

"Before I go to the airport I'm going to swallow a Hot Wheels car & an action figure. Then when they scan me I'm going to act like Godzilla."

"If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024...."

"midget in the library midget walks into a library and ask do you have any books on irony? the librarian replies sure they are on the top shelf"

"My ex broke up with me because she wanted a man with a 9inch penis :(... ... and there was no way I was cutting two inches off."

"I'll never read pride & prejudice I'm way to good to get into a book that probably goes all preachy on me"

"Beauty is only skin deep but that's ok because my eyes can't see any farther than that."

"Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall. We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained."

"You can find me in the club, eatin' Cap'n Crunch I'm into having snacks, I ain't into making lunch"