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Joke of the Day

"Peter Parker's at a party He's offered a blunt. ""No,"" He says looking out the window at the skyline. ""That's not the Mary Jane I need."""

"I like my women like I like my grenades Hanging around my belt and ready to blow."

"Why do we use whiteboards instead of blackboards? Because black boards matter."

"I don't think Muslims go far enough.... I don't think Muslims go far enough in killing people who draw images of the prophet Mohammed. I think they should kill people who are named after him as well."

"My grandpa flirting with a 91 year-old lady at his senior home. ""You look young enough to be my daughter."""

"Come on down! You're the next contestant on STFU!"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus You only need one nail for the picture"

"Why should you always take at least two Baptists with you when you go fishing? Because if you take only one he will drink all your beer."

"What do you call a armless, legless man in water? Bob."

"Why did the Berlin Wall come down? It didn't match with the iron curtains."