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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a man from New Zealand fall asleep? Ask him to count how many sexual partners he has had (Because they're sheep fuckers)."

Next Joke
 
"[date] HER: Any hobbies? ME: I collect old comics HER: Oh! Like 1st editions? ME: [flashback to Billy Crystal tied up in basement] Sure"
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me five times, good job, you're the guy who makes the trailers for the Paranormal Activity movies."
"How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."
"I went to the Doctors today for a checkup He told me that I had one of the best digestive systems he'd ever seen. So today I'm celebrating superb bowel sunday."
"Why don't they have a WHITE history month?? Why don't they have NON-handicapped parking spaces? Why's there no cemetery for ALIVE people??"
"If you hit a car that is blaring Christmas music before Thanksgiving, it will deploy tinsel instead of airbags."
"How does Davy Crockett take his pie? A'lamode"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? **To kill its self** This is no joke **#CHICKENLIVESMATTER**"
"What happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra? He grows taller."