182687

Joke of the Day

"The American people should elect Gabe Newell president in 2020. That way we can be 100% certain the President of the United States will not start World War III."

"'Dad, how do you feel about abortions?' Why don't you ask your sister? But I don't have a .........oooooh."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a Vagina? A vagina is attatched to Bill Clintons wife"

"""Let me ax you something."" - a very generous lumberjack and you're a racist."

"Did you hear about the guy that ran into a window? He was in a lot of pane."

"I emailed my ex-girlfriend ""Are you still alive"" and she emailed back ""No"" which made me sad but also excited that they have email in hell."

"Why should Rihanna date the Edmonton Oilers? Because they don't beat anybody."

"How can you tell that your waitress is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil."

"Q: What did Snow White say when she dropped off her film? A: ""Some day my prints will come."""

"If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party what is a pig the symbol of? Any party where there's lots of food."