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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell a Japanese girl you're breaking up with her ? You drop it on her twice."

"This Teenage girl gave me attitude today so I called her the ""Fattest Skinny person I have ever seen"" that should confuse her for a while."

"(Me giving a Rorschach test) What do you see? Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one? Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again."

"Her: Do you consider yourself broadminded? Me: All I ever think about are broads... so I'll have to go with a yes on this one."

"I'm not afraid of killing cockroaches. It's the fear of his friends and family's plan to avenge his death while I sleep, that haunts me."

"Kids are like smoking cigarettes. I love them for about 5 minutes a day, until I realize that they are slowly killing me. Jim Jefferies"

"Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas? Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!"

"Why do elephants have four feet? Because six inches would look silly."

"The Middle Ages Queen: Babe come to bed its late. King: Not until I can come up with a cool name for my soldiers! Queen: k night. King: holy shit you're a genius!"

"A hillbilly tells his parents he won't marry his fiance because she is a virgin. ""If she isn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours!"""