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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? One to unscrew it, and one to hold the ~~cock~~ ~~father~~ ladder."

"Sometimes in the 'special talents' section of a resume I like to draw a picture of a cat"

"My wife calls me a ""five times a night"" man I've always had a weak bladder"

"Is yur name Atilla cuz you can be my hun anytime!"

"I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache...and then she won't talk to you anymore."

"That awkward moment when you realize that the nursery rhyme never said that Humpty Dumpty was an egg..."

"I don't know when but there was a moment in my life when food changed from friend to lover."

"Where do poor meatballs live? In the *spaghetto.*"

"What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say? ""I don't really carrot all for vegetables."""

"Road painters are not the kind of friends you should be around... They do lines all day."