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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu? One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment."

"What do you call a guy who can't get a word in edgewise during an argument? A ""moderator"", apparently."

"How does someone stop ISIS? Change their name to past tense, WASWAS."

"I was nearly crushed under a huge pile of bread. I was in so much pain."

"For a gentleman, Shakespeare really knew how to spread those thy's."

"A german walks into a library and asks for a book on war The librarian replies ""No mate, you'll lose it."

"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight."

"My Grandmother always leaves long voicemails. Its 5 minutes of her talking and 10 minutes of her trying to hang up the phone."

"In Heaven, the angels asked God where he would spend his next vacation. Definitely not earth, God said. Last time I went there, I got a girl pregnant and they still haven't stopped taking about it."

"Why don't Episcopalians play chess? They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen"