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Joke of the Day

"[Interview] ""Why'd you leave ur last job?"" My boss felt threatened by me [Flashback to juggling lighters after dousing boss in gasoline]"

"What's gay unless you're Chinese? A bro-job."

"What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground? They know people will blow them."

"if squids were land animals sometimes you'd be walking along and you'd look up and BAM squid in a tree"

"How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb? 2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures."

"Alcohol is the leading cause of me getting yelled at for being a pterodactyl on the coffee table."

"This weekend is daylight savings time, which means the clock on my microwave will be right again."

"Why did the green bean go to jail? He was disturbing the peas."

"Justin Timberlake has announced he's involved with a sequel the The Dark Crystal. He's bringing Skeksis Back."

"A photon checks into a hotel... A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""