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Joke of the Day

"Filed a restraining order against Starbucks. Creepy. Every time I turn around, there they are."

"What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend? ""Dayuum. I'd hit that."""

"Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard? Because he's no good at shaving."

"Plutonium smells just like shit. Pu."

"*Writes ""For a good time call"" on random gas station bathroom wall *adds work phone number *Gets excited about work today"

"This bottle of OxyClean says ""GREAT ON WINE AND TOMATO SAUCE"". Call me crazy, but I think they're trying to poison Italians?"

"Researchers have found a new medicine to turn lesbians straight It's called Tricoxagain."

"a blonde and an african walked into a bar, the african said he did a lot of hardwork to come to the states the blonde agreed!!"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, glass ceilings don't have light bulbs."

"There ain't enough tailgatin' in this country. Folks would like workin' and schoolin' more if they could tailgate in the parkin' lot first."