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Joke of the Day

"Looking at the smoldering corpses of his enemies, Harry Potter thought ""damn magic is dope as hell."" #LastLinesFromGreatBooks"

"When going out invite your friends with extra chromosomes. ....theyll always be down"

"What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells Jungle bells.. !"

"How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end."

"Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says ""Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"" Biden replies ""No, Bush did 9:11."""

"What do you call a potato with one oar? A row-tater."

"""Last Airbender"" got a 6% on 'Rotten Tomatoes.' Do you know how bad a film has to be to get below 15%? ""2 Girls 1 Cup"" got an 18%."

"What did one plate say to the other? ""Lunch is on me."""

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"Hangovers only happen to people who stop drinking."