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Joke of the Day

"Looking at the smoldering corpses of his enemies, Harry Potter thought ""damn magic is dope as hell."" #LastLinesFromGreatBooks"

"Air bags: my car's attempt of cheering me up after accidents by giving me surprise balloons."

"The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy. So Happy got out."

"If you were a pizza... you'd be a pizza shit!"

"What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !"

"[Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day."

"What did the pro bono plastic surgeon say to their patient on Dec 31st? Happy new ears Eve!"

"What is the most ironic thing a Jew can say? I want to be cremated."

"Everyone, meet our new baby, Lucian ""Aww, what a nice name"" It's her dad's, so I picked his middle name ""What is it?"" Theskywithdiamonds"

"What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"