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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Asian who is always on time? Thai Mingh Ha. Ha. Ha."

"The date was going great until she spooked me and then I squirted her with ink and quickly swam away"

"What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney? He gets claustrophobic!"

"Apparently, ""I judge a great wine by its alcohol content"", doesn't impress wine snobs"

"Why did the feminist get raped? Cuz she 'asked' for it!"

"PSA: Please don't call them dwarves... It's not the proper gnomenclature."

"Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here! A: Two one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in."

"I hate when people ask me where I see myself in 3 years. I'm blind"

"Clark Kent ""I have a confession"" Lois Lane ""what is it?"" *Clark removes his glasses* Lois ""Is it a bird?"" Clark ""WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"""

"Visiting Child House I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around. They said no and slammed the door in my face. Parents can be real jerks..."