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Joke of the Day

"I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face."

"You'll never know what you want until someone says you can't have it."

"The fish's guitar sounded terrible. He must've forgotten his tuna."

"A voter from the 2000 election recognized me. He came up to me and said ""Hey, Chad, how's it hanging?"""

"A fish swam into a wall... Dam."

"I went to the fancy dress shop the other day but they couldn't help me complete my wizard costume You just can't get the staff."

"Why did the father of the asian couple know the baby was not his? Because two Wongs don't make a white"

"Why do people with the Flu stand in corners? Its always 90 Degrees"

"What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Thanks for the mammaries!"

"movies never show the part in the ending where the hero drives into the sunset and has to pull down the visor"