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Joke of the Day

"Five Star Hangover Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the vomit in my car, I'm pretty sure that I'm a ball of fun when I black out on Saturday night."

"Considered having a one night stand last night just for the funny census results Then I remembered I'm unattractive"

"What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth? :D"

"A redhead gets a job He is now a baker, probably a gingerbread man."

"Sometimes things are not what they appear. Just because I am sitting with an open book doesn't mean that I am studying."

"imagime if introverts were as aggresive to extroverts as extroverts r to introverts ""why do u hav to socialize"" ""why dont u stay in"" ""loser"""

"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just compliment it and then get pissed when it doesn't screw."

"What does Ryan Seacrest say while having sex? ""Seacrest out!"" ""Seacrest in!"" ""Seacrest out!"" ""Seacrest in!"""

"Why don't the dutch have a space program? Their spaceships Netherland."

"Don't trust atoms They make up everything"