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Joke of the Day

"Just had a trick or treater tell me ""Vote for Trump"" Might be the scariest thing I've heard all night"

"Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works."

"My uncle told me he only had three days left to live. So to cheer him up I stabbed him in the jugular vein... &nbsp; He didn't get it."

"What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie? The Blair...Which project? [Made my roomie laugh at least]"

"I lost my virginity to my teacher yesterday. Unfortunately, I'm home-schooled."

"What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common? They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!"

"Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A. They were really put out."

"George Bush was trying out BDSM with his wife. George: Punish me baby, I've been a bad boy. Laura: Hmmm...what did you do honey? George: 9/11"

"How often did the asian cow go to the gym? Dairy"

"I said bring your coffee maker whenever you want Them: great headphones on planes is heavier than flying over TEAs"