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Joke of the Day

"A dyslexic optometrist diagnosed a patient with stigmata."

"Most offensive joke I've ever heard So I was going down on this old lady when I tasted horse semen. So I stopped and said ""Oh grandma, that's how you died"""

"[Creation] God: These dinosaurs are ruining the place! Angel: Maybe they'll evolve? G: *throws a rock* A: Sick shot! G: Next time, apes"

"How is Bud Light like sex on the beach? they're both fucking close to water"

"What were Jesus's last words to his disciples as he was nailed to the cross? Nobody touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Sunday."

"Sarcasm : Because life doesn't come with a free ""stay out of jail card"""

"I got hit by a can of coke... Good thing it was a soft drink."

"I Googled ""James Earl Jones"" to see whether or not he's alive and the Wikipedia link was purple from the other times I've done this."

"My dad thought it would be a good idea to show my girlfriend my baby photos. ""You haven't changed at all."" she laughed. ""That's enough of the naked ones, please."" I told him."

"Today I met a guy who said he was a Premature Ejaculator He came out of nowhere"