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Joke of the Day

"I was sitting on the toilet when todays earthquake hit. The toilet shook like a rollercoaster. It scared the shit out of me."

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"Why did the feminist masseuse stop at the thigh? She didn't like to massage a knee."
"Excuse me while I go slip into something more alcohol."
"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then peppery spray by the police... he is now a seasoned veteran"
"[Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza"
"Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know."
"Dress for the job you want others to think you have."
"What do you call drunken cunnilingus? Lick'er."
"I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably."
"I like my women like I like my hamburgers With enriched white buns..."
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