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Joke of the Day

"I have a friend who got severe burns on his hands, to the point that he is virtually senseless. I feel for him."

"A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes."

"It's impossible to say ""mesh"" without sounding like Sean Connery... Also you just tried it."

"How long is a Chinaman? How long IS a chinaman"

"Mexican Word of the day: Chicken My wife wanted to get to the grocery store, but chicken go herself"

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back 4 seconds."

"I'm trying to ignore the subway mariachi band that's ruining my commute, but I should have refused to carpool with them in the first place."

"If I had a time machine I'd alter the Big Bang Theory pilot episode so all the characters exploded in the very first scene"

"Did you know you can tell what kind of area you're driving in by the bumps in the road? A few big bumps means you should probably slow down. Lots of little bumps means you're in a school zone."

"What do you call a japanese homeless guy? Tokyo Drifter"