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Joke of the Day
"""I JUST WANT TO PUT A BABY IN YOU!"" -me, trying to put a crib together"
Next Joke
"[Wildebeest being lowered Mission Impossible-style from a helicopter to graze the grasses of Buckingham Palace]"
"what retail store does a cat go to when it loses it's tail? a retail sto- goddamn it I did it again"
"I don't have a problem with 5p carrier bags, I have a bag for life, ever since I got married last year. ^^"
"""Please stop misquoting me on Twitter,"" said my boss. ""It makes me sad because I am a large baby with a stupid haircut"""
"What do the ""Damn, Daniel"" kid and pedophiles have in common? They're both back at it again with the white vans."
"9/10 people actually enjoy a group rape"
"TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer. 'The more you know'"
"I won't be impressed with science until I can download a waffle."
"So doctor, do I have rabies? Doc: Short answer. Yes. Patient: What's the long answer? Doc: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss."