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Joke of the Day

"Hello is this HP? I'd like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer."

"I'm not sure about you guys, but I'm pretty sure if she can sell seashells by the sea shore, she also has pretty big boobs."

"The wedding card selection at this store blows. Lots of ""Congrats"" and ""Best wishes"" but no ""I still question your sexuality"" anywhere."

"What do you call repetitive diarrhea? Re-runs. (ba-dum, tss) It's just the same shit over and over again."

"A handsome man walks into a gay bar Everyone started putting their stool in!"

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any children? Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel.."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the teeth."

"If you want big tips... ...circumcise an elephant."

"[wife frantically searching the house] Have you seen the kids, I've looked everywhere [me napping on couch] OMG HOW LONG HAVE WE HAD KIDS"

"What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome."