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Joke of the Day
"""How much for this remote controlled alien?"" ""Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."""
Next Joke
"Yup. If pasta & antipasta ever touch, they annihilate. For your safety, that's why restaurants never serve them together."
"What changed to make The Fantastic Four the Fantastic Three? Nothing."
"red ring xbox My First Weekly Meme, Bad Luck Brian and his xbox :D"
"I shot a turkey for the first time today... Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section."
"I really like money, but I don't like to work."
"I need advice. I was whipping someone in a gimp mask during a BDSM session, but when he took it off - it wasn't my husband. Whoops, wrong sub."
"When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say ""Are you ready to take this sh*t to a whole new level?"""
"They say the hottest person in a party never gets hit on cus people are intimidated. I'm just going to assume that's why I never get hit on."
"My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds."