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Joke of the Day

"Two types of people from small towns: 1. Let's leave after high school and find culture! 2. Where is everyone? Better make some new people!"

"Trying not to take my dog's sighing personally."

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor (My nephew is watching Spongebob please send help my brain cells are leaving one by one)"

"To all you hilarious guys telling Ronda Rousey jokes today: Seize your moment, gents! Talk about a woman *and* look like the winner by comparison!"

"What do you call someone with brown hair and a red beard? ""Chin""ger"

"I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home."

"My friends think my cat is loyal and selective with his affection, but the truth is that I don't have any friends."

"Wait! What?! The subway is flooded? WHAT ABOUT THE NINJA TURTLES?! *prays*"

"How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool."

"What did Dorothy do to the mean Asian Munchkin? She swallowed the yellow prick's load."