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Joke of the Day

"That save button...... I don't understand the reddit's save button. As soon as I click save why does it ask me to unsave immediately?"

"I wish my grass was more emo. Then it would cut itself."

"Why couldn't the crime scene investigators find the murder weapon? They thought it was a piece of cake."

"I used to be into sadism, bestiality, and necrophilia... ... until I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix? One? I say one."

"Don't be offended if someone doesn't reply to your text. Their phone is probably just ""on silent"" or ""right in front of their lying face."""

"You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there."

"build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What do you call one billion facebook users piled on top of each other? suckerberg"

"I assume guys who wear their phones on the hip do so because their pockets are stuffed to the brim with condoms and girls phone numbers"