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Joke of the Day

"The seven dwarfs are in the bath, and they all were feeling happy. Happy climbed out, then they all felt Grumpy."

"Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10"

"1. that's not a pregnancy test, and 2. you're pissing on my flash drive"

"Have you heard about the rioting in Baltimore? So far they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements."

"Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook? Because he only had followers. Not friends."

"My girlfriend is such a procrastinator She never finishes"

"I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 37 years. That is 13,505 sit-ups. And not ONE ab to show for it."

"What's Gatsby's favorite and least favorite superhero? Green Lantern and Deadpool."

"son: hey dad me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes son: now don't get mad me: [dials 1] ok son: do we have a fire extinguisher me: [dials 1]"

"Why does Karl Marx like stormy days? There are no classes."