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Joke of the Day

"What do Filipinos call Canada? Upper U.S."

"What do you call a hot fruit? A LAVA-Cado!"

"Baby seal So, a baby seal walks into a club... ... ..."

"Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle."

"Mandela dead at 95. Respect. That's 5mph faster than Paul Walker."

"Either my shirt shrunk in the wash or, a more likely reason, those four push-ups per day have made me a BEAST."

"Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it."

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."

"My own ass has been talking shit... but it's just a bunch of hot air."

"Waiter: May I take your order? Yes, roll over and play dead! Waiter: It's not that kind of order. Oh. Sorry. I'll have the cheese sticks."