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Joke of the Day

"Fun Fact- Dogs make different noises according to where they are on Earth. For example, a dog in Korea makes a sizzling noise."

"Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is."

"Thank you, Mario, for rescuing our daughter... So, what now? Like, do we just pay you standard plumber rates? We didn't ask you to do this."

"I received the oddest dollar bill as change. When I looked closely, I noticed that George Washington was wearing face-paint, a wig, and round, red nose. It was obviously a clownterfeit."

"If your wife says ""what would you do without me?"" ""Live happily ever after"" is NOT the correct answer. Brrrr it's cold in this doghouse :("

"""Are you cold?"" No dumbass, I'm on fucking vibrate mode.."

"I got it from my daddy? PSY How do you like my Pun? PSY-ber Monday lol"

"Pilot: Tower there's a runway light burning. Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights burning. Pilot: Sorry I mean it's smoking."

"Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves."

"Why can't you eat soup in The Matrix? Because there is no spoon."