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Joke of the Day

"What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!"

"sometimes when i feel stupid, i look at the comments on the Walmart facebook page and feel better."

"What do you cal a wine hangover? The grape depression."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad."

"News has just come in that The Mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring. Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat. Edit: this is /u/Onetap1's joke, credit goes to him"

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman!"

"What do the Scottish people call iPhone? A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)"

"For a ski team, these guys in the 7-11 sure have a lot of guns!"

"Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks... ...one of them was charged, and the other was let off."

"""I'm afraid I have some very bad news, sir,"" the doctor said. ""You have cancer and Alzheimer's."" ""Oh, well, at least I don't have cancer."""