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Joke of the Day

"21st century kid on Santa's lap-""Yo santa, some more insta followers would be real dope for Christmas. Thanks bruh bruh"""

"I heard the chief of police on the news saying ""we will never forget 9 11"" I should bloody hope so its your phone number"

"Don't have phone sex You might get hearing aids."

"What's the worse part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"

"It was so cold UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii"

"Capture a raccoon & an octopus. Sit them on the couch. Give them snacks. Sit between them. Turn on the TV. Now you're ready to have kids."

"Imagine your relief if you had a dream your daughter was dating a DJ then woke up & remembered she was dating a ferris wheel operator."

"What did the white supremacist say to his friend after watching a plot twist? I did Nazi that coming."

"A programmer began to cuss Because getting to sleep was a fuss. When laying in her bed Looping round in her head Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;"

"Why does Pinocchio lie? Because he's a fucking liar."