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Joke of the Day

"there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job"

"My stomach just made a really weird noise. I'm sending a pizza down to check it out."

"life is like a box of chocolabtes.. if sombody loves u, they wil share their box of chocolabtes with u"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile Which is a pretty big word for a 9 year old"

"I had a girlfriend with a parakeet. We had to break up cause it would never shut up. But the bird was cool."

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take -Jenny Mccarthy"

"When my father won't stop telling bad jokes... ... the puns go on Dad Nauseum!"

"A man runs into a bar... A man runs into a bar, and demands to the barkeep: ""Quick! How tall do penguins grow?"" ""About two foot sir"" replies the bartender ""Shit. I've just run over a nun."""

"[Request] Girls names and bike parts puns I can only think of IsaBELL anyone have any good ones? (Sorry if requests aren't allowed in this subreddit just delete if necessary!)"

"I read in my girlfriend's diary...... that I have real trust issues!! What a bunch of BS..."