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Joke of the Day

"Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as ""grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube."""

"I wake up relatively happy every morning. Then I interact with other people and things change quickly"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's holding a grenade !"

"The worst part about being bitten by a venomous spider... ...Is that you're probably Australian"

"Funny joke! What is Charlie sheens middle name? Washingma CHARLIE WASHINGMA SHEEN"

"just saw the gorilla thing. what kind of thoughtless, negligent parent would raise their child in ohio"

"What's long, hard, and covered in people? The Great Wall of China, pervert."

"Pasta & Postmodernism What did the spaghetti say to the postmodernist ravioli? Stop being such an intellectual im-pasta."

"My therapist says that to be happy in marriage, never go to sleep mad at each other. Been mad at my wife 2 months straight cause of insomnia"

"A computer architect walks up to an elevator and sees a sign that says ""Out of Order"".. .. and says ""Even better!"" and gets into it."