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Joke of the Day

"Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as ""grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube."""

"Why does everyone make fun of Batmans old suit, the one with the nipples? Bats have nipples. Hell, that's the most sensitive part of a bat."

"I tried to bring my dead friend to class with me, but the teacher kicked him out. Guess he's too ghoul for school."

"I like my Friday nights like I like my jeans high-wasted."

"What's the matter? Hydrogen, mostly."

"Why is it wrong to be on the left? Because it's not right."

"A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm... and says ""Pint please, and one for the road."""

"I bet the kids who TP'd my yard last night and didn't know that toilet paper was on my grocery list, feel pretty stupid right about now"

"Reddit is too too mean to fat people. You guys really need to lay off. They already have enough on their plates."

"Why are there fences around graveyards/cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!"