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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I'll just eat a plain piece of bread for dinner, to you it might seem like a snack... but to me it's a wholemeal."

"What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy"

"What is a black person's least favourite breakfast! Pancake. K. K. ^^^(Pan-K-K-K)"

"""you are the only one who understands me"" i whisper to a piece of pizza."

"I'm certain my job is interfering with my drinking"

"What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church? A Crystal Methodist."

"Who invented minced meat ? A leper playing the guitar."

"What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel."

"(telling a ghost story) You know those knocking noises you hear at night? That's adulthood coming for you! *all the adults start screaming*"

"Today is Steve Irwin day... Good ol' Steve, he even died with animals in his heart."